3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
