she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
