They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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