lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
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The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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