I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
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Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
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Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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