they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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