Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Floor bacon is actually really good
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
