her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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