Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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