Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
