She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize