Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
