you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you will always have a special place in my vag
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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