Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We just shotgunned beers for America
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Found the puke drawer
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
