My room smells like vodka and shame
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
