Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
