she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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