oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
