She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
