I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
