Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
