Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
