I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
