they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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