Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
