She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's never too late to be topless.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
