I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
