is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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