So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
