since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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