does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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