you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
