I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I didn't notice because vodka
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
