Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
