He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
