I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
