dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I enjoy the company of your penis
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
