This is not my ceiling
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
