Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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