fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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