i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
