Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
