she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The Olympian is in my bed
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
