At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
