Soap is not a condiment
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
