I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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