All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
