I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
