First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
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You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
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Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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