the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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