so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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