dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
