he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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