somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
