my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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