went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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