some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
