Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
