Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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