dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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