I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
